Amazing Weddings

Try Brides.com. Also, try a google search of wedding planning in your area and a few things will probably come up. For instance I live in NY, and will be getting married in Long Island, and I use liweddings.com, etc. Also, get all the bridal magazines you can find, and just search online for whatever you like, to get a better idea of color schemes, or ideas in general for the big day. Theknot.com is great bc it not only gives you advice, but it tells you the etiquette on just about everything wedding related, plus there’s a budget sheet that you can keep track of your finances with. There are so many great things. Just start with google and good luck.
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Also planning. So much fun!

Theknot.com was the best for me.

First steps: talk with your fiance about:

* your budget (only spend what you can afford, don’t take out a loan or load up the credit cards)

* the approximate amount of guests you want to invite (your families will likely tack on people, so tell them from the beginning how many they can invite)

* if you want a religious or secular ceremony (don’t marry in a church JUST because it’s pretty or "traditional," make sure you actually follow the religion)

* a few dates (pick a general month or season, or decide on what you DON’T want)

* how formal you want to be (something very fancy? mid-level formality? fairly casual? super casual) and how traditional you want to be (tux and big white dress and a steak dinner? suit, pretty dress and a buffet? bathing suits and burgers?)

Get on the same page with this stuff early on.

If you want a religious ceremony, touch base with your minister or rabbi first. A lot of religions want you to go through classes and preparation and mabye fill out paperwork. So do that first, and check your potential dates with them first.

If you want a secular ceremony, call the county clerk and see who can marry you in your area … justice of the peace, notary public, friend ordained online, etc. Then look for a place that can comfortably seat all your guests (yes, everyone needs a seat, no standing). If it’s an outdoor location, make sure you can rent a tent in case of rain, or have an indoor location backup plan.

Then visit reception halls. About 50-60% of your budget will go to food and drinks and the reception, so make sure you have a plan of what you want to spend. Some halls include everything (linens, china, food and bar, waitstaff, cleanup, etc.) and you just pay a certain amount per person … some halls are a blank slate and you need to hire every vendor and coordinate every rental on your own. Decide which approach works best for you and then go from there. Or consider a restaurant with a private room big enough for your party.

Don’t ask bridesmaids and groomsmen (or bridesmen and groomsmaids) until 8-10 months out. There’s nothing for them to do earlier than that. Plus, once you ask, you can’t un-ask without destroying the friendship, so take the time to think it over. Relationships can change once someone gets engaged. Remember that you do NOT need an even bridal party, so don’t pick people you aren’t close to just because you want even numbers. And don’t exclude good friends in the name of even numbers. Also remember that they are not required to help you plan, so don’t pick people because you think they’ll be good helpers, and don’t demand things of them. Don’t assume that someone has money problems or is too busy … if you want them, ask them, and THEY will tell you if it’s too much. Don’t make that choice for them. Pick your closest friends, and that’s their only criteria to be an attendant. Any help they give you is a nice bonus.

If you want a designer gown from a salon, try to order around 8 months out. Otherwise you might need to pay a rush fee. Don’t buy salon veils, they’re a rip-off … look on eBay, etsy.com or occanseydesigns.com.

Bridesmaids’ dresses can be ordered around 6 months out. Or you can get them off the rack from a department store, or a website like jcrew.com or anntaylor.com. BEFORE you start looking, talk to each bridesmaid in private and ask what she can afford for a dress. Then only look for dresses that they can all afford, or be prepared to pitch in money on your own … so if one BM says she can spend $150 and the others say they can afford $200, look for a $150 or less dress, or put $50 toward each girl’s dress.

Remember that they do not need to be in perfectly matched dresses … having them pick different styles in the same designer, fabric, color and length is fine, and a VERY common thing nowadays. You also do not need to make them wear the same shoes – pick a neutral color, like black or silver or gold, and ask them to get their own. You can specify pumps, sandals, peep-toes, etc., if you really want to, but realize that nobody will care about their shoes.

Photographer would be smart to book at 6 months out or more. Look for the best you can afford, because photos are the only things that last forever (also a video if you want it). A crappy photographer can make even the nicest wedding look bad.

If you want to send out Save the Date cards, do it around 6-8 months out. Only after the ceremony and reception sites (and your date) are set in stone. But realize that every person who gets a Save the Date must also be invited to the wedding. I would not suggest sending STDs out because you might have to cut the list later on (trust me, families will keep adding people), and if you already send an STD then you’re stuck inviting them. You can use word of mouth to tell important relatives and friends the date.

Florist, limos, DJ, invitations, do when you’re re
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I like brides.com myself. It has a tasks checklist that you can customize, a budget tracker, a guest list and RSVP manager, interactive seating charts, personal albums, and local vendor lists. You can create your own free wedding website and I like their online community better than the knot.com’s.

Personally, I wouldn’t waste a lot of money on buying a lot of different books. I would just google different things that you have a question about. A lot of the wedding books out there are just the same information over and over again and not really helpful to really specific questions/concerns.
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http://www.ubrides.com/home.php?cat=326&catexp=326
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